I have always believed, strongly, that every one of us has a purpose, that dream, given only to us, to fulfil. Some of us are lucky enough to have our purpose call to us from a very young age but for the majority, we have to find what we don’t want before we begin to hear the silent whispers of our calling. However your dreams and your purpose comes to you, let there be no doubt; once they do, the burning desire to achieve them will never leave you.
For many years I tried to fight my purpose, thinking and believing that I wasn’t enough. My ideas, my dreams, my vision was too much. I worried that others would judge me as ‘full of myself’ and who was I to think I could make a difference. My life hadn’t been easy, I wasn’t a success, so who was I to help others be successful in theirs.
For more than twenty years, I have let the fear of not being good enough hold me back and for the last year, as I watched my children all become adults and find their own path, I’d lost mine. I no longer had the excuse of raising, taking care of my family to distract me from my dreams and the biggest, most harsh lesson of all was that I had failed. I had failed to give my children the life and memories I’d wanted to give them. I love my children with every ounce of my being and knowing that I let my fears take away all I dreamt of giving them, paralysed me with guilt. For a whole year I sank deeper and deeper into that guilt. Kept trying to find my way out but I just didn’t know who I was or what I was supposed to do any more.
It wasn’t until Christmas day, watching my now adult children as we played board games that I suddenly felt the guilt lift. My children are amazing and wonderful and maybe if I’d have provided the life I wanted for them, they would not be who they are now and that, I would not change for the world.
I may not have given them the childhood I’d dreamed of giving them but I made the most of what I could give them and despite our struggles, we have many amazing memories. Memories we probably wouldn’t of had or treasured if we could have afforded to do other things.
I may not have given them the childhood I’d wanted to but I can give them the adulthood I dream for them and help them give their children the childhood they dream for them.
Once I’d stepped out of the darkness and given myself a good straightening out, I realised that maybe all this was part of the universe’s plan for me. That whilst I always knew my purpose was to help others realise their potential and achieve their dreams, to really make a difference, I had to lose one of my most important dreams. For most people, it isn’t until we get to the end of our lives, that we mourn the dreams we didn’t achieve and by then it is too late. Losing an important dream, at the time I did was the exact lesson I needed. At the time I didn’t see it and for a year after I didn’t but I do now. I know now who I am and what I am supposed to do. No matter what it takes it is my mission to never let fear take another dream away from me and to help you make sure you NEVER allow your fears to take away your dreams.
And so, with passion and determination it’s time to take the first step towards making your dreams a reality. Are you ready to change your life?
The first and main step to knowing your purpose, is to identify YOUR values, not the values you think or others tell you to have.
Are your values your own?
Look at the decisions you have made?
How did they make you feel?
Was a weight lifted? Did you feel energised? Or did they exhaust and overwhelm you?
When talking about your values do you feel passionate and excited? Or does it feel like it is someone else talking and false?
Write down your values on a piece of paper. Now read them out loud. How do you feel when you do? If it feels uncomfortable, then it’s not for you.
Think of a time in your life when you were at your most happiest. What made you so content?
On the flip side, think of a time in your life when you were unhappy, what was missing?
What are you most proud of?
What activities make you lose track of time?
What do others do that annoy you? What are they not valuing?
What do people typically ask for your help in?
These are just some of the questions that can help you find your values and begin to know your purpose.
To help you further, I’ve created a free ‘Know your values, Know your purpose’ workbook
Simply register to the Femz Insider for your FREE copy.