Following your dreams is not easy and I don’t think I ever fully comprehended how hard it would be. Firstly you have to battle out of that ‘current of life’ you’ve allowed yourself to swept along by, then you have to take that first step. That really is the hardest. I knew my dream, I knew who I wanted to become and what I wanted to do. I also knew that in order for me to take that first step and move forward, there were some things and people I would have to let go.
I had my suspicions about who those people might be but I was also in for some big surprises. It took one person, just one, for my old self to come crashing down. Like Nicholas Cage’s Angel Seth from city of Angels I had to fall from a great height. I was mentally trodden over, stomped on and kicked in the head, several times in order for
me to see who, in my darkest moments would shine a light for me. It was all very drastic but I doubt I would have gotten the message any other way.
The moment you truly let go you can really feel the weight lifting. It is sad; especially when some of the people you have to let go are not the ones you expected. You have to realise that it is only the person you thought they were that you are letting go of. Instead of looking at it as though you have lost them, see it for what it is, you are setting them free. Free from your expectations. Is it really fair of you to keep expecting them to be who YOU want them to be? How can we put expectations on others but demand none be put on us? Is that fair?
It isn’t even necessarily that these people are ‘bad, it may just be that their path is a too distant one from yours. Realising who those people are may have knocked you for six but the hardest part of letting go, isn’t taking the blows, it’s forgiving them.
For you to see who you need to let go, they are more than likely going to cause you some kind of hurt, sometime intentional, sometimes not.
You can not hold on to the hurt and anger and be letting it go, it’s impossible. That’s like letting go with one hand whilst still holding on with the other, nice try but you are still holding on.
Let go fully with a positive mind and a kind heart. This is the only way. The reason I say this is because, inevitably, at some point in your life you will think or be reminded of them. Feeling hurt and anger when you do is only going to bring you down. You may as well keep them in your life and save yourself the task. If instead, you can every so often wish them well and send them a kind thought, it will lift you. As the song goes, ‘Love lifts us up where we belong’.
On the flip side, you also need to accept when someone else decides to let you go. Don’t spend too much time worrying what you did wrong. Just accept that right now, you are not who they need in their life
So, How do you know who you need to let go?
Sometimes it can be pretty obvious who you need to get out of your life, other times it’s not. Here is my list of the people I have learned to lose:
The Dark Clouds
The person so negative that whenever you are around them it takes all your strength to keep their dark cloud at bay or worse, their negativity sucks you in and it takes you days to recover.
The person who has lied or cheated you and others so many times you no longer trust your own judgement as to whether they are telling the truth or not. If anyone makes you feel like this then it’s time to say goodbye. It’s not good for you to be constantly questioning someone and it is not going to benefit them you continuing to allow them to treat you that way.
The Do-Nothing complainers
These are the people, often like the dark clouds, who constantly complain about their life but when given opportunity after opportunity will not do anything bout it. These are the people who want and expect everything to be done for them. You can offer kindly advice time and again but the only way they will do anything with it is if you take them by the hand and drag them to the solution. The problem with keeping these people in your life is that whilst you are busy doing their thinking for them, taking action for them, you are sacrificing the time you should be spending on your life, your dreams.
The All Takers, no give
If whenever they are going through a tough time you are there for them. If you are a constant shoulder for them to cry on but when the time comes and you really need them, they shrug you off without so much as an ‘Are you okay?’ When they have seen you broken and didn’t care to know, then it’s time to let that taker go.
If you continuously have to chase someone. If every arrangement to see them is constantly changed, delayed or just not convenient then they don’t want you in their lives that much. If the only reason you are in someone’s life is to boost their ego by chasing after them in a desperate bid for their affection or time, that may not be how you see it, but in their eyes that’s exactly how it is. If after seeing you exhausted and depleted they still expect you to chase after them with not even the heart to meet you halfway it’s time to send them a packing. There is nothing wrong with boosting someone’s ego or worth but never should it be done at the expense your own.
Realise your worth. Thank them all for the good times shared, the lessons learned and for helping you realise your own worth, wants and needs.